Giving gifts is one of my favorite activities. I love shopping for others and finding the perfect gift for each person.
This year, however, I've had a hard time finding the Christmas spirit and buying gifts seems like just another tedious chore. Stress and depression have played games with my mind, and my holiday cheer didn't get unpacked with the shiny baubles and twinkling lights.
My daughter Sophie is now at an age where she is just started to 'get' Christmas. Some of the concepts (Santa Claus, elves, gingerbread houses -- thanks, Bronwen!) are finally sticking to her little brain and its been a joy watching her retell her interpretation of Christmas lore - It snows! Daddy, you be reindeer, I be Santa, I ride on your back! Elves build toys!
Weeks ago she found an item in a catalog that she wanted. We told her maybe she could ask Santa and Santa could bring it for her for Christmas. She replied, "Or...how about Nana?" Boy does she know her stuff!
Despite Sophie's sweet childlike enthusiasm, emotionally I've been struggling to get excited about Christmas. I feel like I've been going through the motions but not actually feeling the Christmas joy. Until today.
Today we dropped off several toys at our local fire station, to be given to needy children. On the drive over I explained to Sophie that some children don't get presents for Christmas because their families have no money. She silently absorbed this. "These toys will be taken by the firefighters to give to poor children. They will make a little boy or girl very happy on Christmas." Silence.
We walked hand-in-hand to the station, into the office and up to the donation box. I showed her the contents of the bag I was carrying: three Littlest Pet Shop sets and a Lightning McQueen pillow. "That's for Jud!" Sophie exclaimed.
Sophie had picked all four toys on a previous shopping trip. Three things that a little girl like her would like, and one toy for Judson, Sophie's friend who died last year. He would have been four years old on Christmas Eve this year. We watch videos of Judson regularly, and Sophie usually associates anything with the Cars movie or Lightning McQueen as "Jud's favorite." She hand-picked that pillow for him a month before: she saw it and I told her we could donate in his memory at Christmas.
Her excitement at donating this special toy sent a tingle through me all the way to my bones. She was pure joy as she held that toy and placed it in the box.
This year, however, I've had a hard time finding the Christmas spirit and buying gifts seems like just another tedious chore. Stress and depression have played games with my mind, and my holiday cheer didn't get unpacked with the shiny baubles and twinkling lights.
My daughter Sophie is now at an age where she is just started to 'get' Christmas. Some of the concepts (Santa Claus, elves, gingerbread houses -- thanks, Bronwen!) are finally sticking to her little brain and its been a joy watching her retell her interpretation of Christmas lore - It snows! Daddy, you be reindeer, I be Santa, I ride on your back! Elves build toys!
Weeks ago she found an item in a catalog that she wanted. We told her maybe she could ask Santa and Santa could bring it for her for Christmas. She replied, "Or...how about Nana?" Boy does she know her stuff!
Despite Sophie's sweet childlike enthusiasm, emotionally I've been struggling to get excited about Christmas. I feel like I've been going through the motions but not actually feeling the Christmas joy. Until today.
Today we dropped off several toys at our local fire station, to be given to needy children. On the drive over I explained to Sophie that some children don't get presents for Christmas because their families have no money. She silently absorbed this. "These toys will be taken by the firefighters to give to poor children. They will make a little boy or girl very happy on Christmas." Silence.
We walked hand-in-hand to the station, into the office and up to the donation box. I showed her the contents of the bag I was carrying: three Littlest Pet Shop sets and a Lightning McQueen pillow. "That's for Jud!" Sophie exclaimed.
Sophie had picked all four toys on a previous shopping trip. Three things that a little girl like her would like, and one toy for Judson, Sophie's friend who died last year. He would have been four years old on Christmas Eve this year. We watch videos of Judson regularly, and Sophie usually associates anything with the Cars movie or Lightning McQueen as "Jud's favorite." She hand-picked that pillow for him a month before: she saw it and I told her we could donate in his memory at Christmas.
Her excitement at donating this special toy sent a tingle through me all the way to my bones. She was pure joy as she held that toy and placed it in the box.
She didn't say much until we were half way back to the car. "Little boy be so happy! He say, 'Thank you Judson for the car!' And Judson say, 'You're welcome!'"
Christmas spirit exploded in me like fireworks.
1 comment:
okay now i'm full of the Christmas Joy and it's February 3rd! thank you JK for blogging about this!!! Sophie's sweet spirit has truly touched me today - i needed that!!!
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